Three Seconds
by Literate
Summary: It took three seconds for my world to fall apart. I took the three seconds and divided and divided into nothingness, so I felt nothing at all. Something about Hikaru. Something about Kaoru. [A peek into Kaoru's fragmented mind.]


Testing out a style. Just randomly popped up. xP I was in a Kao-angst mood for a while. I believe a logical angsting Kaoru wouldn't actually think straight. :D

Warning: Some angst, but not angst. Kind of fluff. A peek into Kaoru's fragmented mind. Rated T for the romance.

Disclaimer: I don't own the Host Club, nor the idea of it. I'm just someone who "improvises" and take the characters for a joyride. Of hell.

* * *

Many things can happen in three seconds.

The time to flip a page and try to continue reading smoothly as if the page interruption isn't there.

The time to give a smile and chirp a cheery good morning even if I'm everything but cheery.

The time to close my eyes and think, think about what other things can happen in three seconds.

The door opening.

Footsteps against the ground.

A loud bow to the teacher, good morning.

A 'take-out-your-trigonometry textbook' command.

A smile directed from him to her.

A quiet exchange from him to me.

A blissful grin, as he looks for his book.

And three seconds to come up with a question.

"What do you think we're going to do today?"

Three seconds to come up with a reply.

"Don't know. Shouldn't you be asking Kaoru?"

Three seconds to come up with a long silence.

He turns towards me and I raise my eyes from the book.

And three seconds to come up with a different question.

"Kaoru, what's up?"

Three seconds to shake my head and reply.

"Milord regulates the Host Club events, not me."

And he pouts and turns back towards the blackboard where the teacher begins to write up the first problems with a piece of chalk.

Three seconds before beginning to jot down notes and ignore the strange looks that Hikaru's giving me.

* * *

Few things happen for exactly three seconds.

A smile in her direction.

A look in my direction.

A concerned look.

Three seconds for it to sink in that Hikaru's only like that because I'm acting weird.

"Come on, Kaoru, time for Host Club."

Three seconds to stand up, place my books away, and ignore his outstretched hand.

Three seconds after I walk off does he say, "Kaoru?" and after no answer does he pull on my hand.

Three seconds in self-induced confusion and I pull away.

* * *

People can do so many things in three seconds.

The girls take only three seconds to notice something's wrong.

The hosts take only three seconds to remember something, seem like they want to talk about something, and then detach themselves and pretend to be part of the scenery of the unfolding drama.

The mirror takes only three seconds to race to my side, and watch my reaction.

Watch.

It could be seven seconds, ten seconds, but he stands up and walks away after I count to three.

The girls take this to their advantage and corner me from rising.

Three seconds to sit myself back onto the seat.

"Kaoru-kun, still disturbed by yesterday's news?"

Three seconds to temporarily erase the memory, of _yesterday_.

"Yesterday?"

Three seconds to watch them nod.

"Yeah, you know, when Hikaru-kun suddenly-"

Three seconds to push them away and run from the scene.

I don't want to remember.

It takes three seconds to sew threads.

It takes three seconds to mend the seams.

It takes three seconds to rip them into shreds.

It took three seconds for my world to fall apart.

I took the three seconds and divided and divided into nothingness- so I felt nothing at all.

_Something about Haruhi. Something about Hikaru. Something about Kaoru._

It takes an instant for a heart to break.

It takes forever for a world to glue itself back together.

It takes an instant for a mirror to shatter.

A Hitachiin only lets someone to take three seconds to convince of otherwise.

Hikaru takes the three seconds I give him, and on the third count he's there, pinning me against the wall, forbidding me to run away.

My heart pounds in my ears.

"Kaoru, you're…" he looks at me critically, "…avoiding it."

I stop trying to break out of his grasp.

"You don't understand," he says quietly, running his finger over my cheek.

I avert my eyes from his, not wanting to admit it, not wanting to know what he really means.

Three seconds before Hikaru will leave me alone.

Again.

"You never remember what you don't understand," he closes his eyes, and lets me go, stepping back a little, like he's giving me privacy. My eyes dart back and forth down the hall nervously- none of the fan girls are in sight.

Three seconds before Hikaru turns away and gives up on me.

"But you know," and he places his forearm against the walls behind me, trapping me, and I widen my eyes-

Three seconds- before- before- before-

_Why_ does he have that look on his face?!

He leans in closer to me, whispering, "I'll have to repeat it again," he closes his eyes, smiling slightly.

One second, and he brings his arms around me, crushing me into a hug.

"Kaoru, I love you."

One second, and he smiles softly, his breath touching my lips.

"And I don't care."

One second, and he buries his head into my shoulder, as my hands returns the hug, tears falling from my eyes, with no reason _why_.

"So… you shouldn't either."

Three seconds, his _words_.

And he moves slightly away, letting my salty tears drip onto his shirt, and he's patting me awkwardly.

It's not a lie, otherwise Hikaru wouldn't be bothering with it. It's not a script, otherwise we'd be having a secret laugh right now. It's not a play, otherwise I'd cut off the part where I'm _crying_.

"Kaoru," he says, his voice nervous, a hopeless tone that's never associated with Hikaru, "So… am I rejected?"

_Three seconds_, I think, I rub my head into his shirt, my breathing slightly hectic as I hang onto him for a second, two seconds, and I pull away, wiping a sleeve over my moist eyes. I meet his hazel eyes again, and they light up, as I mumble an almost incoherent reply.

"You baka, next time, don't do it in the middle of host club."

And then he laughs, heartily, and he tightens his hug, "Sure, sure, _if _there's a next time."

Many things can happen in three seconds.

A confession is one of them.


End file.
